You may have tried meditation, which is great, you may not, which is also great, because it’s exciting to know that you will give it a go.
Everyone does not meditate in the same way. There is no right way (despite what some teachers may tell you). If any teacher suggests a certain way of sitting or breathing that makes you in the least bit uncomfortable, then that distraction will not give you a good meditative experience. Some people can’t sit with their legs crossed, some can’t breathe through their nose. Just be comfortable and do what is right for you.
Having said that, there are a few things you should not do:
- Do not cross your arms or legs. Why – because they will just go numb.
- Do not expect anything when you meditate – expectation can lead to disappointment.
And there are things you should try and do:
- Settle somewhere without distractions.
- Be comfortable. On a chair with your feet flat on the floor and your back straight (you will be less likely to strain any muscles or fall asleep), or sat on the floor or cushion. Just be comfortable.
We have romantic ideals of monks sitting atop mountains with a mind as blank as a sheet of paper and think we can never get there. Well, here is the good news. A blank mind isn’t the purpose of meditation. The purpose of meditation is clearing your mind of active thinking.
The difference is that a blank mind expects you to think of absolutely nothing. That is pretty much impossible because things will always pop in to your mind. Not only that, but there will be sounds and even smells that appear to you when you are meditating. The point is that you shouldn’t actively think, so no working through issues or building to do lists.
Once your mind is clear and still (you are not actively thinking about anything), then you can do a number of things during your meditation. You can sit in the stillness and enjoy the action-free thought, some find it useful to concentrate on a ticking clock. You can undertake a guided meditation, take yourself on a journey or listen to soft meditation music. At first it will depend on what helps you to achieve a meditative state but then you can choose depending on what you want to get out of a meditation.
The following instructions are the real basics of meditation and are a really good starting point, especially for those who have never meditated.
- Sit comfortably – wriggle around a little until you are comfortable on your bottom.
- Now gently tense and relax each group of muscles from your toes to your head.
- Starting at your feet, wriggle your toes and relax.
- Arch your feet and relax.
- Tense your ankles, and relax.
- Tense your calves and your shins and relax.
- Tense your knees, and thighs, and relax.
- Tense your bottom – give it a wriggle, and relax.
- Tense your stomach, chest and back, and relax.
- Tense your shoulders and relax.
- Tense your upper arms and lower arms and relax.
- Move your wrists and wriggle your fingers, and relax, placing your hands palm down on your thighs. Relax your whole arm.
- Move your head, gently stretching your neck and relax.
- Tense and release the muscles on your face, wriggle your ears and your eyebrows, and relax.
- Take a deep breath in and notice the relaxation in your body.
- Take three deep breaths. Slowly in on a count of 4 and out on a count of 6. You should feel your stomach expand on your out breath. If it doesn’t, then you aren’t using the whole of your lungs and will need to breathe deeper.
- After you have taken your three deep breaths (take care not to take too many as it may make you feel light headed), return to a regular breathing pattern. Your stomach should still expand when you breathe in.
- To still your mind, start by staring into the back of your eyelids. If you get a thought, just let it drift right past. Some people find that putting the thought on a cloud so it can float away is a good technique.
- Then relax into the meditation, concentrating on your breathing and being still. Your mind will calm and the human trivia will dissipate.
Time may pass quickly but you will know when it’s time to stop. You could have meditated for 5 minutes, or 50 but the point is that you have tried the meditation. Meditation is as much about the intention as it is the action itself.
When practised you should be able to meditate easily. There may be occasions when you cannot and this is OK. Just stop and return again once you are able.
Every meditation will be different, some meditations will be easier to achieve than others and that can be due to something as simple as how we are feeling that day, the quality of our sleep or what we have eaten.
All meditations will always be different but that doesn’t mean they are any less valuable to your progression. Don’t judge yourself on other people’s meditations either. We are all different and we all experience meditation in a different way. It is enough to know that you have attempted to meditate. If you achieve a state where your mind is calm, even for a minute, you have been successful.
Jayne Jones
BSc(Hons) Psych (Open), Cert.Couns.Studies
