I write this blog with the knowledge that I get a good night’s sleep. It’s something that I am good at. Annoying isn’t it? My family tell me that I got the ‘sleep gene’. My sister and mother tell me they sleep for 4-5 hours and I am at a good 6-7 per night. However, my sleep pattern has not been without effort and it is something I constantly work on.
Sleep is still the mystery of scientists. Experiments on sleep deprivation give us theories that REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep is needed for concentration and awareness. Not getting enough sleep causes serious hallucinations in most people. So we know why sleep is needed, but we don’t know why it is needed for so long.
We know that REM sleep is an important deeper state of sleep. Some people reach that state earlier in their sleep cycle than others. However, the ability to reach REM sleep may be affected by alcohol and/or drugs or sleep conditions like sleep apnoea.
The most important thing about your own sleep pattern is to fully know and understand that is your sleep pattern. If you are an early deep sleeper your brain may only need a few hours’ sleep. Those who reach REM sleep after 5 hours sleep will generally sleep for longer. There is no standard 8 hour sleep cycle. We are individuals, we cannot expect to follow a ‘norm’ – even if the experts say so.
I get between 6 and 7 hours sleep and my identical twin sister gets between 4 and 5 hours. We are genetically identical but have different sleep patterns. You get the gist.
So, what makes a good night’s sleep?
1. Make your bed time an event.
Don’t just let sleep be something that you do at the end of the day. It is an important part of your life and quality sleep means quality you. Plan your sleep – plan your bed time and where you can, make it a routine. If your body knows you will start to relax at 9pm for bed at 10pm then it will get used to the routine. </p>
Try to avoid having a TV in the bedroom and reserve that sacred space for sleep.
2. Turn off your tech.
We are told to turn off our blue screens (laptops, mobiles, tablets, game consoles etc.) about an hour before bed. I would stretch that to at least 2 hours. This isn’t just due to the blue screen effect, but because you need to get your brain to release the ‘want’ associated with whatever you are doing on line: Just reading the next article, just commenting on this one social media post, just doing the next level: Our brain still wants to feel satisfied up to an hour after it’s last ‘fix’, so our yearning for the next thing on our tech goes on until we tell ourselves we have to go to sleep.
Our brains need to relax out of a state of desire for satisfaction and that takes time and practice. It also means leaving your phone downstairs and buying an alarm clock to avoid the temptation to look at it during the night.
3. Do something relaxing.
Read a book, take a bath, take a slow wander around your garden. Do something that will quiet your mind and take you away from your day. Make tomorrows breakfast (overnight oats) or lunch for the family. Take your time and be relaxed while you are doing it. Meditate for a while to gentle music. Do anything that takes you away from the TV or any stressful thoughts. If you are thinking of things you should do, write a list and get them out of your head before you go to bed.
4. TV can wait
<p>Nothing is more important than your mental and physical health. Avoiding sleep for the next TV show is a very poor way of respecting yourself. Nearly everyone has the ability to either record shows or download them. Fear of missing out is not an excuse to use for getting less sleep. Plan your sleep into your evening. Make sure you have time to watch TV. Tell your friends and family you are organising your sleep patterns.
5. Don’t be angry if you can’t sleep
One of the biggest hurdles I have overcome is my anger or frustration with not sleeping. If I woke and couldn’t get back to sleep I would blame everything else. A snoring husband or dog, or the wind, or central heating. You name it, it was never my ‘fault’. But it was. Getting angry at being awake just stopped me getting back to sleep.
Now I tell myself that I am going to get back to sleep. If my mind starts to wander, I ask my brain to remind me in the morning. It sounds proper bonkers but it works. The birds or dogs aren’t waking me out of some kind of spite. If the dog wants to go out, I trundle downstairs, let him out and go back to bed. I trust that I will sleep as soon as I get under the duvet. That never happened when I was angry at them. Now I just let it go. It was a small blip in my sleep cycle but I can get back into it. Now I have a good night’s sleep.
Don’t get me wrong, it takes time to get this mind-set right and some days I don’t quite make it but 90% of the time I do. I sleep better, am less angry at the world and wake in a much better mood. I have also noticed that my alertness and concentration is better so there are real benefits to my efforts.
6. Avoid alcohol
Try to avoid alcohol as a sleep encourager. It doesn’t put you into a natural sleep and you are less likely to get to REM slee. Try a warm drink of camomile tea, milk or a Horlicks if you can drink before bed.
The most important thing to understand about sleep is that we need it. Sounds really obvious and it is!
A good night’s sleep is free. We manage that ourselves and have full responsibility over it but pay it the least amount of attention.
So build your own sleep pattern. Know that the fear of missing out is a danger of missing quality sleep which is much more important. Know that being annoyed at your ability to sleep is futile. It does not make you sleep better. It makes you not want to sleep because you are rubbish at it. Just be positive about your sleep pattern it is just yours. Be thankful for a good night’s sleep and treat your sleep in a positive way instead of treating your lack of sleep in a negative way.Build and create a positive energy around your sleeping patterns, treat your brain to the sleep it deserves and you will feel 100% better in no time. You can get a good night’s sleep.
Jayne Jones
BSc(Hons) Psych (Open), Cert.Couns.Studies, S.N.H.S H.I.Dip. (Naturopathy)
